December 2009
57 posts
4 tags
Dec 31st
2 tags
“Can you wank yourself to death?”
– Angelique Luff. I hear you get hairy hands and go blind.
Dec 30th
2 tags
“Jude Law is a DILF (Dad I’d Like to Fuck)”
– Jack Moore
Dec 28th
2 tags
“I wouldn’t do a porno.”
– Angelique Luff
Dec 27th
WatchWatch
Pointless Survey. 2009.
Dec 26th
1 tag
I Don't Get It...
Olly Newport: I start my job at a restaurant tomorrow. I can't wait.
John Boles: What resteraunt
Olly Newport: It was a joke. I can't wait.
John Boles: Oh
Olly Newport: Waiting.
John Boles: Still
Olly Newport: At a resturant.
John Boles: Which one?
Olly Newport: No. You don't get it. It was. A. Joke... Fine. If it will make you happy. Pizza Hut.
Dec 24th
2 tags
Respect Dad, respect.
Mum: If you don't like it, why did you marry me?
Dad: Because your sister was already taken.
Dec 24th
3 tags
Plant Rape
Pollen is essentially ‘plant sperm’. Therefore, this makes hay fever an STD. Since no one voluntarily takes in pollen, I’ve deduced: We are all being raped by trees. In conclusion: deforestation is the way forward. Take that environment. You rape us. We rape you right back.
Dec 24th
5 tags
Older Guys
Matti Ryan: I love Santa. He's a babe.
Jack Moore: Fittie.
Matti Ryan: I don't go for older guys.. o_o
Olly Newport: Matti goes for yonger ones. Like Rudolph
Matti Ryan: It's the old ones that go for ME
Dec 24th
3 tags
“I was thinking about buying a gift card for CyberCandy, that shop that I have to...”
– Nothing wrong with making it seem like you’ve received more presents than your brother?
Dec 24th
3 tags
Dec 24th
3 tags
Dec 23rd
Olly's Younger Brother: Where is the console ID on the back of this Xbox?
Olly: *points at giant 'console ID' text on the back* usually it's the one with console ID next to it.
Olly's Younger Brother: oh, well i just wanted to check, I'm not as smart as you.
Olly: You don't really need to be to find that giant letters on the back.
Dec 23rd
4 tags
Dec 22nd
2 tags
Dec 22nd
3 tags
Dec 22nd
3 tags
Dec 22nd
4 tags
Dec 22nd
9,390 notes
3 tags
“dude i know it was a joke and shit but NEVER MESS WITH METRO STATION!and if you...”
– jonasbrosfreak3 has made a comment on Hannah Montana and Metro Station + Homosexuality.
Dec 21st
2 notes
2 tags
“i am so frunk…frunk>… i mean drunk”
– Conor Tindale
Dec 21st
8 tags
ListenLet’s Get it on BOOM!
Dec 21st
2 tags
“I’d rather go out with the girl next to him.”
– Angelique Luff… apparently she loves girls now. LEZZY POWER!
Dec 20th
2 tags
Olly Newport: Was the guy who invented the Venn Diagram's name, Venn?
Angelique: No his name is diagram.
Dec 20th
1 tag
“Your jingling balls are really distracting me.”
– Paula Deen
Dec 20th
3 tags
DailyBooth #143 →
OMG :P
Dec 19th
How Everything Goes to HELL During a Zombie...
From The Oatmeal.
Dec 19th
Dec 18th
6 tags
ListenOlly’s Track of the Day - Quicksand, La Roux (Alex...
Dec 17th
3 tags
Poor Norfolk
Olly Newport: I' gotta brand new combine 'arvester 'n i'm gonna' give ye' the keeyy
Matti Ryan: How many times have we heard that now :P
Matti Ryan: Poor Norfolk
Olly Newport: Incest... AND TRACTORS!
Olly Newport: When will it end!?
Matti Ryan: Don't forget the perverts and sex brothels :P
Dec 16th
Dec 16th
4 tags
Dec 15th
3 tags
“I had a dream that a dog ejaculated into the air and it landed on my head. No...”
– @conormusiccc
Dec 15th
2 tags
“It’s like kissing a guy in front of your parents and THEN telling them...”
– @afterdarks
Dec 15th
7 tags
I MUST Listen to... M83's Before the Dawn Heals Us
Behold, a series of amazing downloadable posts that allow you to own a little part of what I would consider the ‘best of’ my music collection. M83 is a band that crept over my radar a few months ago, and has now received hundreds of plays. Fantastic, inspirational and never-ending synth accompanied with the rare lavish of vocals or guitar swells up a treat to my ears. Before the...
Dec 15th
2 tags
“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.”
– Sharon Stone
Dec 14th
Dec 13th
Dec 13th
4 tags
ListenOlly’s Track of the Day - She’s Got You...
Dec 12th
1 tag
“A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes...”
– Abba Eban
Dec 12th
Dec 12th
842 notes
Dec 12th
“Please, make a screenshot of this word file and just put it in there somewhere....”
– (via clientsfromhell)
Dec 10th
53 notes
Dec 10th
1,488 notes
2 tags
How Was Your Day?
Matti Ryan: How was your day?
Matti Ryan: Just the usual
Matti Ryan: "Can I give you a bj?"
Matti Ryan: No.
Matti Ryan: "Handjob?"
Matti Ryan: no.
Matti Ryan: "threesome with me and my new bf if we go out?"
Matti Ryan: no.
Matti Ryan: Can I "milk" you and use your semen in cooking recipes?
Matti Ryan: no.
Matti Ryan: etc
Matti Ryan: etc
Dec 10th
3 tags
Stats
Since the 25th September 2009, till the 7th December 2009 this tumblog has received: 3 721 hits. 8 197 page loads. Average of two-minutes and fourteen-seconds each visit. 58.29% of hits are new visitors. Did you also know that: 2 790 or 74.98% of hits are from viral methods, and Twitter. 902 visitors are direct. 646 are from FormSpring.me/olly 609 are from Twitter 469...
Dec 8th
2 tags
“Imagine somebody asks me, “So what did you eat this weekend?” I...”
– CrushCrushConor
Dec 7th
2 tags
“You know I think it’s silly that Topman sell socks in packs of 1 or...”
– Chris Lomas
Dec 6th
Dec 4th
“The only thing I ask the old woman to do is die quickly and quietly.”
– Skype call.
Dec 4th
2 tags
Pastry Based Humour
Matti Ryan: I could really go for a pastry right now.
Olly Newport: Sorry, I don't cinnamon roll that way.... ahh pastry based humour, I love it!
Dec 4th